


Fur Coats

by cheyla



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Selkie, Crack-ish, Humor, M/M, Mild Language, Selkies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-20 19:15:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30009672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheyla/pseuds/cheyla
Summary: Viktor just wanted to get laid, to have a night where he could pretend that someone cared about him simply because he was Viktor and not the world’s most recognizable figure skater.He really didn’t think that he would be married before the end of the night.In hindsight, maybe he shouldn’t have been so eager to overlook the coat...
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Comments: 11
Kudos: 118
Collections: Yuuri and Vitya (and Co.)





	Fur Coats

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this post](https://kurara-black-blog.tumblr.com/post/170166549083/howtobangyourmonster-oops-dropped-your-coat)

Viktor just wanted to get laid, to have a night where he could pretend that someone cared about him simply because he was Viktor and not the world’s most recognizable figure skater.

He really didn’t think that he would be married before the end of the night.

After all, this was Sochi, not Las Vegas, and he was still completely sober.

That being said, it _was_ the Olympics and the event was notorious in—many—respects.

Viktor thought he’d lucked out, really. His partner for the night was cute, not Russian—maybe Japanese, definitely Asian—and seemed to be unaware of who Viktor was.

That last part had sealed the deal, to the point where Viktor was willing to overlook the other man’s complete lack of fashion sense, evident by his bulky, gray coat that looked like it had been splattered with ink in several places.

In hindsight, maybe he shouldn’t have been so eager to overlook the coat.

“Is this _fur_?” he demanded as he helped the other man–Yuuri, he’d said his name was—out of the coat, brushing away the other’s protests. His blue eyes widened in horror and he suppressed a gag at the recognizable feel of seal-skin. “Real fur?”

Yuuri’s head tilted to the side. “Is there another kind of fur?”

“Yes!” Viktor cried out. “Faux fur!”

Yuuri’s head tilted to the other side. “Why would you create fake fur?” he asked. “I doubt it’s as warm.”

Viktor twitched. “Because using real animal fur for fashion is a cruel and barbaric thing to do?” He shook the coat in his hands in Yuuri’s direction. “Do you have any idea how many seals were killed to make this horrible thing?”

Dark eyes narrowed. “I like it,” Yuuri said slowly. “And to answer your question, none.”

He might have said “none,” but Viktor heard “one.”

“No, no, no!’ Viktor protested. “A coat this big definitely used more than one seal. This is probably dozens of seals sacrificed—and for what? Fashion?” He looked at the garment in his hands. “I can’t allow you to keep this. We have to get rid of it.”

The other man’s bemusement turned to outright panic at that statement. “What? No!”

“It’s a savage thing to have!”

“It’s mine! You can’t get rid of it!”

“It’s human cruelty at its finest!”

“No, it’s not!”

“How is it not? It’s a symbol of death! I can’t believe I let this thing—this creation of slaughter—into my home!”

Yuuri gave a loud, exasperated sigh. “No seals were harmed in the making of that coat!” he snapped. “It’s mine!”

“How can you say that? Do you not know how fur is harvested?”

The shorter man crossed his arms and rolled his brown eyes. “No seals were harmed in the making of that coat, because I’m the seal that fur came from,” he stated. “It is not a creation of slaughter as you call it, because as you can see, I’m very much still alive.”

Blue eyes blinked, the confusion readily apparent in them. “Wait, what?”

“I’d show you, but I was hoping to get laid tonight, not go for a swim. The water here is too warm for my tastes. Simply put, if I have that on when I go into the water, I turn into a seal.”

Blue eyes blinked again. “So, you’re what? A shapeshifter? Those really exist?”

Yuuri sighed. “The proper term is selkie,” he grumbled.

“Oh.”

“Yes, oh.”

Viktor stopped to think. The term was vaguely familiar, but if he’d ever known anything about selkie before tonight, he had long since forgotten it.

He glanced down at the coat in his arms. It was still hideous, but now that he knew that it hadn’t resulted in the deaths of the sea creatures Makkachin liked to play with when they went walking along the beaches on their travels, he wasn’t necessarily … opposed to its presence.

He laughed brightly. “Sorry about that,” he said, handing the coat back to Yuuri. “I hope that didn’t ruin the mood too much. I’ll let you hang this up or put it somewhere—I really don’t know how to handle something like this and it’s yours, so you probably know how to treat it the best…” He trailed off as Yuuri blushed a bright red and practically buried his face in his coat, once it was wrapped securely in his arms. “Um, bed?”

Yuuri gave a shy nod, before he slowly folded his coat and set it on a nearby chair.

* * *

The next morning, Viktor found himself blowing off practice to spend the time with Yuuri. The night before had been wonderful and he really didn’t want to let the other man go.

Yuuri was perfect, he pronounced. Sweet and shy, but also playful and sassy. Completely unaware of who Viktor was. Even unaware of what figure skating was. Extremely adorable, especially when Viktor realized that not all of the blubber in a selkie’s coat was stripped away when they took on human form. Strong hips and thighs that Viktor would gladly die for.

In the morning light, Viktor really wanted this to be more than simply a one-night stand.

Yuuri’s head tilted to the side when Viktor voiced that particular thought. “It already is?”

“Already is what?”

“More than one night?” Yuuri said carefully. “As long as there’s water nearby, you have me forever?”

This time, it was Viktor’s head that tilted. “What do you mean?”

Yuuri grimaced. “Ah, I probably should have followed the human customs better,” he said. “Can we go shopping today? Your custom is rings, yes?”

“Rings?” Viktor asked hesitantly. “What kind of customs are we trying to follow here?”

Yuuri gave him a sheepish, yet adorable smile. “Well, any human who gets ahold of our skin and gives it back of their own free will … They’re definitely kind and trustworthy enough to marry and it so rarely happens that way that magic kind of … does its own thing? But, I guess, we should get married by human customs as well, and that always involves a ring and a bed, though I think we might have done this a little backwards. It still counts though, right?”

Viktor clutched at his chest. It was too cute. His heart couldn’t handle it. “Yes, it still counts!” he agreed fervently. “Any ring you want, I’ll get it for us!”

Yuuri blushed. “That’s really not necessary,” he said. “Before coming here, my friend and I traded some of the coins we found while swimming for some money.” He tilted his head again, a bemused look entering his brown eyes. “Apparently it’s not a one for one ratio up here? Just one coin was enough for the whole trip—many trips really—and we had dozens.”

Handsome, adorable, and rich? Viktor could be the trophy husband and not the other way around?

“I’m the luckiest man in the world,” he decided.

* * *

They were ring shopping when something occurred to him. “Hey, Yuuri, you like dogs, right?”

“Dogs?” Yuuri’s head tilted for a second before his brown eyes brightened. “Oh! You mean the land seals? Of course! They’ve always got the most interesting stories about humans to share when they come on the beach, though a few aren’t very nice. Do you have one?”

“Makkachin,” Viktor announced proudly, pulling out his phone and opening up the Instagram account he’d dedicated solely to his fur baby so he could show his new husband pictures. “He’s in Saint Petersburg right now, but he loves to travel with me, especially when we go to places that have beaches.”

“He’s the fluffy kind!” Yuuri gasped. “The ones that like to swim! They’re my favorite land seals. Ah, Viktor, are you okay?”

Death by an overload of cuteness. What a way to go.

* * *

Unfortunately, while Viktor had met Yuuri after he had gotten his Olympic medals, the figure skating season wasn’t quite over. There was still Worlds to compete at and, while Viktor might have once considered skipping the competition in favor of rest and recovery, he wouldn’t be able to _not_ compete this time around for two reasons.

A, because Worlds was in Japan and Yuuri had promised to show him around the country’s coasts afterwards—and promised that Viktor could meet his family!—and B, because Yakov didn’t give him a choice about it.

Mostly because of that first reason.

However, since there was still one more competition left in the season, that meant one thing—practice.

“Are you sure you want to come along?” Viktor asked, a few days after they were back in Saint Petersburg and he was no longer able to dodge Yakov’s calls. “I don’t mind dropping you and Makkachin off at the beach, if you wanted to play for a few hours.”

“But then we’d be too tired to check out the waterfront properties with you this afternoon,” Yuuri replied with a small frown that looked more like a pout. “And that’s more important. Testing the water temperature and quality is important.”

“There’s one I’m hoping you’ll really like,” Viktor said with a smile, helping Yuuri into his coat, which was still slightly hideous but starting to grow on Viktor. At the very least, it suited Yuuri, especially now that Viktor had seen Yuuri in his seal form. “It’s a bit big, but in addition to being on the water, it’s got a temperature-controlled pool.”

“It sounds nice,” Yuuri said. “And big isn’t a problem. I’m used to the ocean, remember? Can you tell me about the people at the ice again? The ones we’re meeting?” A touch of nerves entered his expressive eyes.

“They’ll love you,” Viktor insisted. “There’s Yakov and Georgi and Mila and Yuri, and Lilia might be there as well. Mila and Yuri are really just pups, still, but they’re really good. You’ll probably think that everyone’s a little loud, but I promise you, their bark is worse than their bite—especially when it comes to Yakov and Yuri.”

Yuuri rolled his brown eyes. “I don’t think loud will be an issue,” he said. “Unless one human can be louder than an entire molting group. And I’m not surprised that their bite is so bad—human teeth are really weak.”

Viktor beamed and tugged Yuuri closer to him, pressing their foreheads together and nuzzling the other’s nose with his own. “So adorable,” he cooed. “Don’t ever change.” He paused. “Your personality, I mean. You can definitely keep doing the seal to human and human to seal changing thing. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of that.”

“Even though it means having a fur coat in your closet?” Yuuri teased.

Viktor groaned. “Yes,” he sighed. “Even though it means having a fur coat around. It’s the only fur coat we’re going to have, though. My conscience couldn’t handle anything else.”

Yuuri’s head tilted. “But what if we have pups?”

Viktor froze. “Is that—“ He grimaced at how strangled his voice sounded. “Is that a thing? Can you have pups?”

He sighed in relief when Yuuri laughed. “I meant adopted pups,” the other man said. “There’s always a pup or two every season that loses their parents and they need another selkie to take them in. What happens to that pup’s coat if we adopt?”

Viktor sighed. “I can never be truly anti-fur again,” he moped for a minute. “Fine,” he groaned. “Seal fur only and as long as you promise it’s not a creation of slaughter.”

Yuuri glanced down at his coat, then gave Viktor an impish look. “No seals were harmed in the making of this coat,” he promised. “Now come on! I want to check out this ice before the others get there. I want to see if it’s good resting ice for the winter.”

“It’s very good resting ice,” Viktor promised. “It’s also got very good ice baths. You’ll love it.”

* * *

Practicing with Yuuri around was a very dangerous thing, Viktor quickly learned as he slammed into the rink barrier—again.

He couldn’t help it! Yuuri just looked too adorable, watching him skate with a besotted expression and sitting as close to the ice as he could get without actually being on it himself. Every time he spotted Yuuri out of the corner of his eye while skating, Viktor ended up distracted and the end result was him not paying attention to where he was skating.

Or trying to skate over to Yuuri and getting stopped by the barrier right before he could.

“Viktor! Have you suddenly turned into a newborn colt, unable to keep his legs underneath him?” The silver-haired skater groaned as Yakov’s voice rang out. Of course his coach would make his entrance then, just in time to see Viktor lose whatever grace he had, thanks to a glorious smile from his Yuuri.

“Yakov, hi!” Viktor greeted his coach with a wave. “Come down here, I want you to meet someone!”

Yuuri’s brown eyes widened in a brief panic and he ducked his face into his coat as the older man approached. “Viktor, I’m not ready to meet people!” he protested in a whisper.

“He’ll love you,” Viktor insisted again.

Before he could make a formal introduction, however, a force from behind rammed Viktor into the rink barrier again.

“Viktor, what the hell was that in Sochi, ditching me with Georgi of all people!” Yuri’s sharp voice rang out. “Don’t tell me you ditched me for this pig.”

Yuuri glanced down at his coat with a small pout. “I didn’t keep _that_ much blubber on,” he grumbled.

Viktor reached across the barrier and cupped Yuuri’s cheeks in his hands. “I love you and all your blubber,” he cooed. “Yakov, Yura, meet Yuuri! He’s my husband!”

The declaration resulted in some very amusing expressions, Viktor decided.

“When the hell did you have time to get married?” Yuri demanded.

“When the hell did you have time to get married?” Yakov repeated, starting to turn a deep shade of red. “How long have you _been_ married?”

“Five days!” Viktor chirped cheerfully.

“And how long have you known each other?” Yakov asked slowly, starting to pray that the answer wasn’t something ridiculous like a week.

“Five days!”

Nope. The answer was so much worse than he’d been expecting.

“VITYA!” Everyone in the rink jumped at the increase in volume.

“He’d do well in the molting group,” Yuuri mumbled.

The other Yuri in the group gave him a strange look before turning to the silver-haired skater. “What’d you do—take that ridiculous coat of his and then give it back to him?” he demanded.

“Exactly!” Viktor confirmed.

“We also did some of Viktor’s customs,” Yuuri added. “With the bed. And rings!” He thrust his hand out to show off the gold band he was wearing.

Yuri let out a strangled sound from the back of his throat. “Viktor, what the hell?” he barked.

Yuuri tilted his head and blue eyes widened at the familiar sign. “Viktor, you didn’t tell me that you already knew of a pup we could adopt,” he said.

Blue eyes widened even further and Viktor turned to regard Yuri, who had a panicked expression on his face.

Yuri, who owned a seal-fur coat, despite Viktor’s many—and loud—protests. Who kept that coat under lock and key when he wasn’t wearing it. Who disappeared for hours at a time on his day off or whenever there was a group trip to the beach during the off-season.

Oh.

_Oh._

“Absolutely not!” Yuri barked out when Viktor tilted his head to the side and gave him a long, considering look. “No. Nope. No way.”

“Yuri, is there something you need to tell me?” Viktor practically sang.

“Is there something you need to tell me?” Yuri demanded, pointing at the other Yuuri.

“Like how the hell someone gets married the same day they meet a person?” Yakov interjected. “Vitya!”

Viktor gave a nervous laugh. “Well, you see, it’s a really funny story…”

* * *

Yakov did not think it was a very funny story.

He thought the story of how Yuri and Otabek ended up being married, less than a year later in Barcelona, was even less funny.


End file.
